Bartlett Cross Race 2009

It was like mortar. Not the tube like things you fire exploding shells from but the stuff you use to hold blocks together with in order to create a building. The grass and mud lattice that we mixed together was working perfectly at filling every single open space and hardening in place. Unfortunately...we didn't want it to.

In an attempt to re-find my cyclocross mojo (and to rent some wheels) I got to the Bartlett race early and set up camp. The early morning rain had souped the oversaturated ground. It made even my recreationally paced pedal strokes painful and slippery even as I was just hauling materials from my car to the course.

It wasn't even time to race and all I wanted to do was crawl back into my bed to warm up and dry out. Ahh....cross weather.

After setting up I jumped on to take a few practice laps. Beveryly Bob and MJH2 were there as well. The first lap was filled with a lot of comments along the lines of, "this corner will suck" and "OOOooo can you imagine what this will be like by this afternoon?" I only felt like lowering the pressure in my tires further and when I got back I saw that I was already well below where I would rationally consider running.

I was racing 30+ and 4A's this time. My first cross double and the first time I was venturing out of the 4's for a race. I'll admit it was weird lining up with some of the elite guys I have ridden with on group rides but never against in a race. When faced with utter anniliation...make jokes.

It was a good crew. Felt good. Shea Butter, Wrong Way Nick, Alien, Beverly Bob, MJH2, JAnd, etc. were all there. Time for a good old race OTB. I figured all was well as long as I beat Bob.

It was a year ago at this very race where I first learned of Bob's existance. He and I battled each other down to the final sprint - where I believe I beat him. From that point on in just about every race it has become my mantra - "must beat Bob."

Bob has beat me a lot. I think I have beat him a lot too, but while we don't keep score we know what the goal for the day is for sure. Even better - I got some of my cross demo wheels under Bob.

So, I got a good start. I was right behind Matt. I was racing in that sweet spot right behind a teammate for most of the first lap. Shea Butter slipped in between us and finished out the lap riding alongside Matt.

The hill was a mess. We all knew we were running it. We had only seen 1 person ride it well all morning and that was Wayne "Cycling's Chuck Norris" Simon. When I brought that up to Matt he replied, "so....no mortals have ridden it yet."

Running up the hill I was damn glad I had toe spikes on....until I started to realize that all I was doing with them was picking up toe mortar and packing my pedals with it.

Somewhere along the line I was doing kind of OK and then I looked down. I must have done so because I was starting to fade. The clock said 27 minutes. Perfect for a 1/2 hr race...not the case in 30+. We were on for 45 minutes. That's when I did some Rob math and realized I was basically a little over 1/2 way done. Suck.

From there I slowly fell apart. I tried to give everyone a line to get by me. Super Wayne passed me with 1 lap left so I wasn't doing too aweful bad. I thankfully got lapped by our leader near the end of my 4th lap I believe. Right around the same time Bob....passed me.

If I had realized it was our last lap I would have sprinted or something, but no doubt Bob would have reacted and matched my move. He wanted to beat me as much as I wanted to beat him. He deserved the victory and I sure didn't. Next time Bob....next time...

After that it dawned on me that I had to wait around for hours until the 4A's. Nothing much happened. Hung out. JAnd picked up a sammich for me while I was out there (thanks!). Supergirl got on my wheels for the 4A's. Ed White got a picture of him on them. Good stuff.

I put in a great start on the 4A's. Made it about 1/4 of a lap and started to really feel the effort from the morning. I started to fade fast. I was giving up spots like you wouldn't believe and I felt like crap.

The problem with a good start is that you get to watch a lot of people pass you when you crack.

I pulled to the side and let most everyone by me. I was done. I was going to cut the course but I saw the hill. The course had dried up so much from the morning that everything was sticking beautifully and I knew I could ride the hill. So I went and rode it.....and then pulled off at the start-finish.

OK...so it had to happen. I have not been training. I didn't ride or exercise at all since the race the previous Sunday. I haven't had my mojo. I figured I needed to hit bottom and at the same time re-kindle some love for the sport. I kind of hit bottom, and I have some love back but I am still missing a lot of it. Most of you know why.

So I will attempt to train a little this week. I fear that if I actually train again and stop doing things like eating a half dozen donuts on the way to a meeting and eating McDonald's and pizza and drinking beer at every opportunity....I could in fact be dangerous....

....or I could be a slightly fitter piece of pack fodder. Yay, pack fodder.

Quote of the day goes to Marc Moeller who upon hearing Matt say something like, "I'm not really going to be racing I figure I will give it about 10 minutes of effort-" he replied, "F*&# THAT S*&#!"

I think I'm just doing the 30+ for now on. I have no points in the 4As so what's the point? I have more fun the the 30+....and I don't almost die in the melee the 4A's has become.

Also - the courses are too long. Period. It might help the scoring but it makes it more like an agressive group ride you've done once before. You have an idea what is coming up, but you still haven't figured out all the lines or places you can move up, etc. If this keeps up we're going to have to start putting up "you are here" signs on the course so you can figure out where the hell you are. We're also going to have to start providing SAG support and put in a rest stop.

...maybe public transportation for the spectators to take them around the course....

Rollers

Finally got around to posting some video I think. Background...I have ridden for something like 22 years but have never ridden rollers. Seriously. Runner Susan started riding them and I just thought to myself...nah. Not going to happen.

The thing is I just never had access to them. To top it off I had an unatural fear of them. It's not "if" but rather "when" you wreck on them. I don't know about you but I don't look forward to the idea of hitting the deck...indoors....during winter....in my basement.

Well I borrowed a set form JAnd. I tried the first time in a doorway because that's what I heard you were supposed to do. It took about 1.5 minutes to get the hang of them.

Due to comments on here I decided to get some video. This is from my second time riding rollers. I cut 90% off, but boiled it down to the interesting stuff. A little bit of smoother riding followed by more interesting stuff.



So far I like rollers. That is all.

ABD TT#3 Report

Another round of beating your head into a wall is over. I am happy to say I have made no gains over the last couple of months. That said I have found that have made no losses either. Meh...here's the pics. That's all any of you care about anyway...


Showed up early enough to see JAnd do his run.


Cheering section - L to R - JF, Little P, Mrs. P


GO JAND GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Time for us to go. Clipping in for torture....


"Hi...I'm f'n nuts!"


Reset the computer....and.......3.....2......1.....GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I burried my head for the first 5 minutes. I didn't look at the screen because I knew I would go too hard if I saw I was behind in order to catch up....or if I was ahead in order to maintain position. So I didn't look.


I was rocking out to a mix of punk and metal. Total "kill everyone" kind of stuff.

I hit my normal wall about 4-5 mintes in, but pushed through. I looked up to see I was behind...by a lot. JF was in front of me. Honestly he's got the chops even though he's new so I really didn't let that bother me too much, but I was at least gpong to try to pull him back.

Up until now I had been running about 270W. I shifted and started bringing around 300W in the second 5 minutes.

"OOooooo"

With a During the last set of 5 minutes I started to crack. I made myself take it easy for 1.5 minutes. Rode easier than I could just in hopes of recovering to finish strong. It kind of worked, but not really. I tried with about 2.5-3 minutes left to stand and go at it. I was within "50 or 60 feet" of JF when I did. When I stood...so did he. That just told me he wasn't going to just hand anything over.

At first I felt bad because I figured he thought I was standing to sprint to the end, but it was way too early for that. I was just hoping to get a quick jump to turn over the distance between us. Turns out when I stood I didn't upshift so my power dropped. Ooops. I sat back down to compensate, but by then JF had taken the opportunity to lay down some power.

I tried to stand and sprint at the end, but I didn't have much. Not the usual punch I have. When done...I felt like puking. So...I did it right. I definitely left some out there though. Just couldn't tap into the deep well if that makes sense.


Shoot me.


Seriously...shoot me.


JF took the win in style. The guy is a naturl athlete that will accel at this cycling thing with no problem. I keep telling him the only thing that will limit how far he goes is how much time he wants to spend on it. He won't be a 5 long and will be a 4 even shorter.

This time he won the CM 19-29. He also got to pick up his medal from the previous TT


To top it off I still owe him a beer to make up for the last $5 from registration I owe him. Will it never end?

So...I ended up 13th out of 28 who took the start out of Cat 4. Furthest up in the field so far, but 2 seconds slower than my last one on the "Flat" course. I did beat Rob Jungels...by like 7 seconds...which just means there is a story there. I'm guessing he had something go wrong or he was doing it as a recovery in street shoes and blue jeans.

Tuesday night at the shop we're doing the mother of all indoor trainer sessions. We're down to 1x45' at threshold. Those sessions have made it easier to race already. They have convinced me that I can ride at an intense effort for much longer than I thought I could.

Congrats to JAnd, JF and everyone else who went out there (MRIDan). Nothing like paying $25 so you can sit in one place and turn yourself inside out for 16 minutes.

Almost time to shave the legs. Mrs. P is thrilled.

Results....

The results are posted and they have me 14th out of 55 finishers. They did put one guy in front of me that I am pretty sure was not in front of me only because I know him and do not remember him passing me and know I was in front of him at the start, but stuff happens out there. I am sure of nothing.

This means I picked up 17 points in the overall and climbed up into 30th place. MJH2 did a 16/55 for this race and is in 45th because he popped last race and hit a barrier this one (COME ON MAN!). He is sooooooo much better than that and he knows it.

JAnd had a good showing coming in 48/55! I think that might be ones if his best performances to date in terms of the number of guys he beat. The man has talent. More than I think he even knows. MJH2 and I have decided that we've only ever seem at most 60% of his actual current ability and we're pretty sure he isn't even aware of how deep his well really runs. Need to get him on the road circuit this year and serve up some pure pain as a form of demonstration.

JBernaeyge dropped a 25th place after what he calls a miserable performance. He beat supergirl though and he says that's all that matters (Supergirl...no hating here...I'm still one of your biggest fans!).

JMaxwell had a good showing dropping in between myself and MJH2 with one of his best showings to date. Someone send us a pic of him so we can have our eye out for him next time.

EDIT: Special shout-out to velosnaps for nailing the picture of the day of me... here!

Awesome

Awesome race. Robert Kelley and Matt Stewart from my team (Bicycle Heaven) set up the course and all I have to say is....OMG!!! Actually more like OMFG!!

MJH2 and I ended up getting out there early to pre-ride. I have pre-ridden every course and only put in 1 lap or 2. This time I put in at least 4 and maybe 5. On top of that we rode one section with some off-camber cut-backs at least 8 or 9 times trying to find a line.

After that we hung around to watch the start of the 30+, 40+ and 50+ groups. I hope to post a video later of the carnage that ensued in the off-camber pits of despair.

Around 12 I came in and volunteered at registration. That was pretty cool. For the first time I had an idea of how many were in my field before we started. I also got to meet a lot of riders and connect names with faces in some instances.

"Where is your license? No license? NO SOUP FOR YOU! NEXT!"

When we got to about 2pm I made a bee line to the car to get ready for my race at 3. The weather had steadily warmed up throughout the day so I ended up ditching the arm warmers, etc.

I'm too sexy for these arm warmers....well...too hot at least.

Before the race we got a few minutes to have an impromtu team meeting near the "off-cambers of death" section on the course.

Imagine that...I'm telling a story...

"So...like...this is the part I alwasy mess up..." Justin is all, "Ooooo...look.........racers..." MJH2 is all "Psimet....you suck"

Practicing my "you're not getting around me" move.

Lined up at the start: MJH2, myself, and our targets...Jorge and Bob from Beverly Bike Veepak.

Right after that they did call-ups....which is where they call up the top 10 riders in the series. because the whole thing comes down to your start and your starting position this is where they give these guys a reward for showing to the start late. Sometimes it's annoying, but I understand why they do it. If it were me I would be all over it myself.

I got a great line right out of the start. I was, hooked up, and putting power down before the first turn. I got some good looks at lines and took what I could. MJH2 and I were top 7 or 8 heading into the woods.

In the woods there were landscape timbers/railroad ties that were used to both help prevent errosion and to create steps along the hill. So...we rode around, over, across them up to a barrier where we dismounted, jumped, and ran about 4-5 more steps before being abel to remount. At this point the pack was already starting to settle down, but the guys near me were still thumping.

MJH2 was in front of me I believe, and Jorge and Bob from Beverly were just behind me (at least that's what it looks like in some of the pictures). I was still getting the engine going. I know myself well enough to know that I have to go hard early and get that feeling that I am going to pop....and then realize that it is only a temporary feeling....hold on and push and next thing you know I am through it and feeling......stable.

The pain in cross is horrendous. It is as intense as a time trial with the combined effort of having to think. For you runners I would liken it to trying to do differential equations in your head at mile 18 on a marathon while upping your pace to a 5k pace....I think. Of course that could have been like saying, "No yo soy puede, pero no hay de que"....which, if I am correct, makes no sense at all.

Anyway...CyLowe97 showed up and got some killer shots of the action in the "off-cambers of death".

All in all a good race. Jay from Tati grabbed my wheel and pulled me back while climbing the stairs after the barrier in the woods....to get by...which was funny, but I couldn't laugh at the time. He disentigrated a lap later and became trail fodder though.

Jorge from Beverly got around me early on. Bob was well seated behind me though. Each lap was painful and we ended up doing 5 of them I think. I saw 3 to go at the end fo the second lap I did so that would make sense.....see....you like have to do simple math and stuff when you're on the limit....no fair. That's more laps than we have done since I have been in the series. I was not ready for that. It hurt bad.

I have discovered that when I hit my threshold I breath very loudly - which everyone around me takes as a signal that I am about to pop. Funny thing is I am not. It's weird. It makes for some people taking chances passing me and then me just passing them up shortly thereafter.

Had one guy go around me at the same place Jay from tati did only to then eat it on the loose sand by the ballpark. He blocked the whole course, but I wiggled between him and the fence to get around. At least I didn't run right over him...

During prerides I kept thinking that I needed to drop the pressure in the tires. So I did....then when racing it dawned on me that all I did was make it worse. Boo. Lesson learned. As a result I kept sliding out in places. I recovered, but I need to get that stuff under control.

I was following MJH2 on the steep downhill with the soft gravel down the center....so we were staying tight to the inside. I got it a little too tight and the pole at the corner caught the inside of my handlebars. That bike did stuff I never knew a bike could do. .....and I stayed upright. A spectator at the bottom of the hill gave me a look like "OMG I can't believe that just happened AND you stayed upright". I gave him the "OMG I KNOW RIGHT??!!" look.

This race was competitive. More so than the others so far. I was really riding off some contenders and feeling pressure all the time. There was no where on the course to really rest. Some of the stuff that normally you would coast on to recover was where the pressure was coming. You just couldn't let off.

At some point (lap 4 I think) MJH2 was in front of me going into the last barrier on the back side. This was the one that was followed by the drainage ditch you had to jump before remounting. Well...he hit that barrier....literally. I didn't see it happen, but when I looked up he was on the ground at it's base. I think I yelled for him to get up. He got over it at the same time as me and said "I dropped my chain." I think I told him one of the pieces of advice I figured out in Carpentersville when I did it. I think I said, "Just relax and take your time and fix it right."...as I was hopping on and pedaling away.

Last lap I had at least one guy on me all the way through the technical stuff. I think he thought he was going to get by me either on the uphill or in the off cambers of death, but I kep edging him out (getting in his way). I laid on the power on the flat section and just kept him off going into the last barrier. I could hear him breathing down my neck into that barrier and knew it was all going to come down to how well I did.

I cleared it and got back on and started pedaling before him. I could hear him groan in disgust. From there I hit the big ring and floored it. I had more speed and gas then I thought I did for that last section. When I crossed the line I was beyond my limits. I was in total sugar shock with shaking, I was disoriented, etc. I left it out there at least at the end.

Results came in late, but they have me down at 14th out of 55. Mrs. P was pretty sure I was closer to in the top 10, and so was I when I was getting word I was in 11th while I was out on the course, but things happen and it's hard to keep track. To be honest I didn't even know if MJH2 had finished in front or behind me. When I saw him I asked. He reminded me that I passed him when he hit the barrier. I had already forgotten. That's how violent this stuff is...

Bottom line is I keep getting better....

They say that up to 90% of all "mechanicals" (guys dropping out of the event because of a mechanical failure of the bike) during Time Trials (TTs) really aren't mechanicals, but guys throwing in the towell because they aren't ready to physically handle the pain.... I know I am at my limit when I find myself actually hoping for a flat tire. I did that yesterday.

Again...thanks to everyone who helped put on the race. Thanks to Mrs P and Little P and Nana for enduring. Thanks to Mr and Mrs CyLowe and the inquisitors for joining in the fun and cheering me on. Thanks to Half Acre for the intense aroma of digesting beer coming off their breath as they screamed at us through the corner. Thanks to the dude with the lit cigarette who filled the course with smoke on the last lap...ugh....

Thanks to all the cow bell ringing physchos and families. It felt like a real race. you guys are awesome.

Next week......Northbrook....or the "Save Ferris" cross event!

Chicken has been served

So I decided that today would be the day and I took the plunge. No more chicken for me. I decided it was time to try my hand at cyclocross. The event was the Carpentersville Race #4 on the Chicago Cyclocross Cup series.

I arrived early at 8:30ish to pre-ride the course and register. I was met by some cold weather. Tights, long gloves, winter vest, cap type of cold weather. I am firmly convinced the biting cold was mother nature's way of say, "HEY YOU KIDS! STOP MESSING UP MY PARKS!"

I met up with teammate MJH2 and we pre-rode the course. In short order we were wondering why we were doing this. Specifically we took issue with the following:

1. It's hard. Like, "OMG! Is daddy going to die mommy? Why can't he breathe?" kind of hard.


2. It takes place on this substance called "off-road". Apparantly this substance is filled with ruts, holes, is not consistant in texture or hardness, and generall means you will not be able to change you hand position for the duration for fear that you will die if you try.


3. They let locals place big barriers (big wooden boards) across the trail. This means you must get off your bike....I know...WTF right?! I heard one local describe it as such, "if they're going to come into our park wearing lycra and (literally) dress like superheros and tear up our park then I want to see carnage. Blood will work.


4. They thought it would be cool to make you ride through a sand pit. Like sandbox, playground sand. No...beach sand. Ever ride a bike on a beach? How'd that work for you? Thought so.



5. Sometimes the slower you go, the faster you are. See? I told you...these off-road types smoke lots of dope.

Generally we felt like we were going to learn a few things. With a few practice laps behind us we each took off. 4B was our category (beginner) and our category's race was at 3:00pm - last race.

I came back in time to catch part of the Cat 1,2,3 race. Bicycle Heaven (my team) had 3 guys in The 1,2,3 race. It was intense to see those guys so gassed.

We did our typical "no warm up" warmup and went to toe the line. The organizers gave us a thumbs up to pre-ride a lap so I headed out right behind our new teammate JAnd. It started to feel good to have everyone behind me on that lap. Started to get my mind into competition mode.

Pre-race lap.

I ended up going through the sand pit when I noticed that there were a lot of guys lining up at the start. Then I noticed that there was no one behind me. Ooops. I guess they didn't really mean, "take a lap". What was I thinking....:(

The 4 b field. There are 67 riders in there...obviously the picture doesn't display the width of the field. It was big.

We sat at the start for a bunch of time. I started with the typical pre-race jokes about how bad I am going to suck and how I just want to get through it, etc. It's my way of getting my game face on.

"Riders Ready"-whistle!

Just like a crit. I took it easy right at the start and didn't push for position. I figured why should I when all I was trying to do was get around the course. I even took it easy enough that MJH2, myself and a rider from xXx were chit-chatting through the first few turns.

My first impressions have stuck with me. The first turn was like a crit in bad weather. To give you an idea what I mean imagine taking a handful of forks and knives and stand holding them just under your chin. Now drop them into an empty water bottle located on the floor between your feet....all at once. Did that hurt? Exactly.

After that each corner was like squeezing taffy out of a 50# bag through a 1/2" hole in the corner of it. The flow was slow and solid, but if you tried to push it you'd "break the bag" and end up with a mess on your hands.

After that the pain quickly settled in. I went anerobic in a hurry and stayed there for the duration. There were a lot of people biting it all over the place. Carnage. Feet, bodies, bikes, everywhere.

I made it over the first hurdle and lost a bunch of places remounting. I got gapped by MJH2 at that point as well. I never recovered that gap. Coming around to the sand pit I had 2 options: Ride it or Run it. I wanted to ride it, but just felt like I was going to do a header coming into it. Thing is it is kind of a good idea to know what you're going to do before you actually get to the pit. Sucks making a decision at high speed last second.

With the mass of humanity in the pit in front of me I decided I should run. I passed a ton of guys. Everyone getting jammed up, people falling, getting tangled. It felt like a football game and I had the ball.

Giving it my "Oooo" face...


Newly found teamate JAnd. Giving it his "Ooo" face...


...Where are you going MJH2?? The trail is over there...

After that I barely remember the rest of the first lap. Pain set in. I was able to slam the flat and road sections. I did great on the technical sections which allowed me to stay on the bike. It was the dismounting and remounting that killed me. I knew it would though.

Passing the start finish on the first lap I looked at the officials and begged for them to spare my life. Turns out they don't pull people in cross.....

Second lap was more of the same. This time I was right behind a Tati rider Kyle or Kevin something. I only knew this because there was a Tati clan member on every corner yelling words of encouragement and support.

This was the guy that we had lapped during the first crit at Fall Fling. When we had lapped him we thought he was actually Brian Hague and stopped chasing as hard thinking we had reeled him back in. So....from this point forward he is now known to me as "Fake Hauge".

Anyway, I was riding behind him while totally gassed. I had it on the flats, but he'd smooth through the obsticles well. Finally I just started wheelsucking looking to pass time. It was the wrong move because we lost a ton of ground on the guys in front of us, but I was gassed and needed the recovery.

I started to notice he wasn't thinking about the terrain to come and shifting before getting to it so I started yelling out for him to. Not sure he knew who I was or that I was in just trying to help, but he did end up picking up some of what I was saying. No one likes unsolicited help during a race, but I was really just trying to help if you end up reading this....

Our buddy J Bernaeyge in the Area 51 Tatoo jersey leading Super Girl out of the sand pit


So this is running? This sucks...

In the shot above you can just barely make out that I have a spot of red on my left knee. Just before this section I hit a weird hole that came out of nowhere and twisted the front end up bad. The result is that somehow my kneecap smacked the back of the stem. it started swelling almost instantly and was almost an excuse for making the rest of the pain end by quitting.

Ugh


Remounting isn't nearly as much fun as it sounds...


Cottage of wattage...


Who the F put boards across a perfectly good course....wtf??!!..."Fake Hauge" is next to me in the Orange.


...again with the running....


Bye-bye guys...


Fly over this stuff already.



"Who's your daddy." MJH2 making the pit his bitch. I especially like the rooster tail.

Me...not so much. You might notice in this shot that my chain is just dangling here. I forgot what I did to it but I basically kicked the crap out of the bike dismounting or lifting it and dropped the chain. At this point I was looking for someone to tell me I should just quit. Instead I calmly decided to fix it....out of the way of other traffic...calmly. That's what should be done after all...




See ya....love these shots. Too fast for the camera to catch you.


My shoulder is bruised...now I know why.


Again....see ya....whooooooooosh....


"So...that sucked. Right? Wanna do it again? Yeah, me too."


He may look like his mother, but bet you can't guess where he got his goofy grin and sense of humor from....


Oh, and in good style the promoter had a real Cross beer garden. Seriously folks...where did you think I was going? MJH2 on left and JAnd on right.

So...to make an already long race report longer I'll just mention this:

• One of the hardest things I have ever done on a bike
• I loved it
• I now have the following: a kneecap that is either cracked or heavily bruised, bruised shoulder, and a smile across my face.
• Ara - the team/shop owner was hanging over the fence of the beer garden with a beer in hand yelling for me to pick it up at the end of the straight on one of the laps. I just about dismounted and jumped the fence for the beer.
• Road is where it's at, but I can see how cross can become like that bad crack habit you don't like telling people about.
• I still hate winter.

The best part of this madness though is that I get to do this every single weekend through December. You can't see me but I'm holding out devil horns and sticking my tounge out. It just might be allright to go slumming with the dirt crowd every now and then.

For the record they had me down as 40th out of 67. I think it's total crap. I passed a lot of guys and I was passing lapped traffic at the end. Lapped traffic always screws up the placings. One of the volunteers was encouraging me to protest, but here's the thing...what difference does it make?

Huge A++++++++ - thumbs up goes to Jeff and the crowd from Main Street Bicycles in Carpentersville for putting on an top shelf event. One of the best I have ever been to in any for of cycling. I have been around this race for 3 years and it just keeps getting better. Not enough can be said for the effort and planning that goes into this. It's a passion. Thanks Jeff.

Oh....and I discovered Supergirl's secret identity. I caught her unwinding in the beer garden....